Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
BILL BAILEYYou remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
BILL BAILEY