Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEYYou remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
BILL BAILEY