Work hard, save and live within your means.
BILL BAILEYI would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying ‘Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.’
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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This shed does not contain me.
BILL BAILEY