Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
BILL BAILEYI would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
BILL BAILEY