The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
BILL BAILEYAdd a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think ‘Oh my God, I’m James Blunt, what have I done?’
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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This shed does not contain me.
BILL BAILEY