Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
BILL BAILEYAt college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
BILL BAILEY