Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEYWhen it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY -
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEY