Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY -
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
ANDY ROONEY -
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY -
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY -
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY -
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY