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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY

Hard Myself Ready Work
Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
ANDY ROONEY

Gratitude Life Small Spectacular
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY

Enough Funny Letter Money Myself Rich
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY

Bed Later Stay Worth
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY

Place Time Unknown
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY

Drink Goodness Hands Happiness Live Quite
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY

God Happiness Learning Myself
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY

Appreciation Hard Learning Love
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY

Action Feeling Myself Work
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY

Dog Fun Oneself Talk
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Food Man Reality

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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Popular Authors

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