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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY

Important Kind Right
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY

Hard Myself Ready Work
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY

Drink Goodness Hands Happiness Live Quite
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY

Cat Goodness Ideas Kill Time
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY

God Happiness Learning Myself
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness News Print
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY

Fold Food Restaurant Time Trust
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Person Room World
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY

Boss Need People Work

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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