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Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Andy Rooney

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Kill Old Oneself People Return Time World
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY

Action Feeling Myself Work
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Food Man Reality
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY

Cat Goodness Ideas Kill Time
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY

Bed Later Stay Worth
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Ourselves Prison Religious
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember

Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

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Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Andy Rooney Quotes