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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

Andy Rooney

I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY

Hard Myself Ready Work
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY

Action Feeling Myself Work
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness News Print
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

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Popular Authors

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