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I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

Andy Rooney

My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY

Character Flaw Myself Serious
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Himself Meat
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY

Bad Book Guy Oneself Writing
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY

Dog Fun Oneself Talk
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Myself People Religion Thinking Willing
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY

End Fast Learning Myself Paper
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY

Appreciation Learning Life Myself Small
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY

Hard Myself Ready Work
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY

Confusion Heading Party Register
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Opinion People Permission Right Talk
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People

I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

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I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

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