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I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

Andy Rooney

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY

Hurt Learning Person Planning Yourself
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY

Hard Myself Ready Work
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY

Asleep Children Fall Feeling Learning Myself Peace World
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY

Cat Goodness Ideas Kill Time
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
ANDY ROONEY

Drive Game Kill Thinking Yourself
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Heart Learning Person Time Understand
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Lost Missing Opportunity Position Yourself
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY

Care Herself Thinking Wake Up Woman
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Myself Need
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY

Bitter Happiness Learning Myself

I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

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I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

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