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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

Andy Rooney

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY

End Fast Learning Myself Paper
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Alone Happiness Smile Yourself
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY

Easy Reading Sentence Suspicious Writing
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY

Fall In Love Learning Myself Perfection
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
ANDY ROONEY

Friendship Letter Life Oneself Sweet
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY

Bad Book Guy Oneself Writing
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Kill Old Oneself People Return Time World
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Fast Technology
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY

Care Herself Thinking Wake Up Woman
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEY

End Live People Remember Teacher
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Heart Learning Person Time Understand
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY

Important Kind Right

A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

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