I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEYA cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY -
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
ANDY ROONEY -
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY -
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY -
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY







