Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEYIf, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
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I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY -
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY -
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY -
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY