If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEYHalf the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY -
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY