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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Andy Rooney

All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Goodness People World Yourself
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Head Rule World Yourself
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY

Help Himself Learning Myself Prayer Strength Way
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY

Place Time Unknown
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY

Enjoyment Growth Television Watch
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY

Boss Need People Work
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY

Enough Funny Letter Money Myself Rich
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY

Custom Direction Evidence Institution Monument Myself Myth Social
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY

Agreement Believe Opinion Ourselves Right
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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