He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCEAn election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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