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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

Ambrose Bierce

ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Concession Demand Resort
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Edit Revision Sin
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Believe Divine Need Neighbor Religion Spiritual
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Electricity Natural Reason
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Average Perseverance Success Virtue
The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Book Distance
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Death Money Person Praise Wealth
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Black Color Optimism White
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belief Body History Invention Original People True
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Convincing Doubt Enemy Man Person
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Contrast Fall Sense
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Body Decay Life Selfish
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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