Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEAn election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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