Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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