Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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