MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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