Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCEBore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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