A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCEBore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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