Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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