IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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