Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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