Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCEAccordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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