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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Ambrose Bierce

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Food Place Religion Service State
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Act Repeat Word
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Beautiful Death Essential Example Poison
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Leadership Philosophy Road
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Affair Assurance Future Happiness Prosperity Time
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Box Defend Democracy Stage
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Avoid People Selfish
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Love Marriage Sanity Temporary
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Happiness Temptation Weakness
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Division Domain Forever Hope Present

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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Popular Authors

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