RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCEAccordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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