Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCEMoney. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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