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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Affection Creature Dog World
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Instrument Worst
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Country Fools Freedom Instrument Power
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Age Believe Fools Hard Thinking Wisdom Young
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Fake Fools History Important Rule
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Drive Slave Substitute
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Love Marriage Sanity Temporary
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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God Man One Liner Reason Sleep
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Machine Technology Transformation
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Harm Patient Prescription Situation
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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