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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Beautiful Belief Optimism Ugly
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Happiness Temptation Weakness
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Love Marriage Sanity Temporary
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Avoid People Selfish
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fake Fools History Important Rule
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Affection Creature Dog World
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Evil Existence Philosophy Replacement
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Contrast Fall Sense
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Appearance Earth Face Genius God Leaving Nature Original Root Woman
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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God Place Teaching War
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Governement Party Prevent Rival Run
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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