Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCEFuture. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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