The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCEThey say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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