Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCEThey say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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