Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCEA wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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