Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEEloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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