REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEEloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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