Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCEEloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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