Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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