April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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