Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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