Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
AMBROSE BIERCEMYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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