The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCEWhat is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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