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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Ambrose Bierce

LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Life Missing Spiritual
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Entertainment Innocent Military Popular
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confirm Degree Democracy Reward
Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Betrayal Character Cheating Virtue
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Alarm Difficult Himself Thinking
Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Beautiful Belief Optimism Ugly
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Adventure Knowledge Old Sun Wisdom
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Degree Independence Intellectual
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Convincing Doubt Enemy Man Person
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Act Repeat Word
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Business Cheating Complete Steal Success
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Decay Life Selfish
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Contrast Fall Sense
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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