Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEQuotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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