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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Ambrose Bierce

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Assasination Harmony Instrument
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fact Imagination Lying Poet
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Believe Fools Hard Thinking Wisdom Young
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confession Law Prayer Universe Worth
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Average Perseverance Success Virtue
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Administration Condition Country Failure Himself Leaving Person Politics Security
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Himself Listening Person Talk
Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Company Interior Laughter Noise
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Marriage People Person Support
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Science Thinking
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

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Popular Authors

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