Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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