Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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