LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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