Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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