April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE -
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
AMBROSE BIERCE