Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE