Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCEREFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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