Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCEREFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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