Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCEAlliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCEChristian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCEMausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCELogic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCEReligion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCEFuture. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCEMIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCEFear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCERUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbsurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE