Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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