REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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