MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
AMBROSE BIERCEEdible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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