My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KINGMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING -
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING -
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING -
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING -
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING -
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING -
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING