And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KINGMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
More Alan King Quotes
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING






