That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KINGMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
More Alan King Quotes
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING -
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING -
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING