When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KINGMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
More Alan King Quotes
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING