“I can’t get too offended when somebody parodies me.”

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”

Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’

I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.

So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they’re not afraid of wolves.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be an architect, because when I was 12 years old I had a guidance counselor that convinced me that that was the best career choice for me.

My dogs are crazy. They’re always getting into some kind of trouble but then again, they’re my most loyal friends.

In NASCAR, you can do a lot of banging around and get pretty serious and even get yourself upside down.

I love men and I like to get their attention.

While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as though he were sure of it. If at the end your cheerfulness in not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful.

I don’t think you get successful to brag and throw what you have in the world’s face. That’s all private.

When you start thinking you may get hurt, it’s time to get out of racing.

You see people in the left lane, and as long as they are on the speed limit, they stay there. Get in the right lane and let people pass you.

You get excited about getting married, aight, but after you’re married for awhile, you gotta have a process to make it work, aight.