“Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.”

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.

Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that’s not me.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.

I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.

My wife went off with Elvis.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

The music has always been my bread and butter, and I’ve focused more of my attention on that.

By the time I’m in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.

I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.

Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

I’m free to do what I please, I’m probably not going to do albums. Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.

Pop culture’s gotten much more disposable.

How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you’re doing?

I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.

I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!

I don’t think life offers any greater experience than the joyful sense of recognition when one finds in a new acquaintance a real friend

Hogslop is the real deal groovilicious honkin old-time string band. Guaranteed old-time awesomeness with these fellas around!

I’m living in a real postmodern time – every single thing sings to you to tell you it’s started, it’s stopped, you’ve got a message, you didn’t get a message.

Drama is like a dream, it is not real, but it is really felt.

In this state, dig it, you get twenty years for sale of dope to a minor. You only get five to ten for manslaughter. So like, the thing is, if you’re selling to a kid and cops come, shoot the kid real quick!

My music lives because of real players.

Democracy is for infidels. A real Muslim is not a democrat because he doesn’t care about the opinions of majorities and minorities don’t interest him. He is only interested in what Islam says.

Together, we can create a world in which peace is real; in which every human being can thrive; in which all share the promise of our century. I believe we can succeed.