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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

Al Yankovic

My wife went off with Elvis.
AL YANKOVIC

Off Went Wife
I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Character Drawback Easily Enunciate People Pretty Recognize Seem Tenth Voice
It’s very much a “Weird Al” themed issue, so I’d like to think that there’s a lot of “Weird Al” flavor throughout but I think it’d be generous really to call me an editor.
AL YANKOVIC

Call Editor Generous Issue Think Throughout Weird
I’m still a geek on the inside, that’s the important thing.
AL YANKOVIC

Comedy Geek Important Inside Thing
On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!
AL YANKOVIC

Free Hand On Other Song Want Wow
I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!
AL YANKOVIC

Art Humble Know Million Time
I’m known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.
AL YANKOVIC

Energy Guy High Kind Known Optimistic
No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
AL YANKOVIC

Car No Tape Track
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing
Maybe I’ll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
AL YANKOVIC

Belly Button Color Huge Maybe Social Taboo
One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Career Deel Keep Material Three Topical Year
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.
AL YANKOVIC

Analytical Kid Precise Very Write
I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Clean Grand Minute Spend Station Tongue
Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.
AL YANKOVIC

Grab Gusto Inspirational Key Lead Low Out Time
I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I’ll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points.
AL YANKOVIC

Amuse Down Edit Help Notebook Part Storyline Think Write
I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny.
AL YANKOVIC

Friend Funny Genesis Medley Polka Rock Song Soun Think
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably
I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.
AL YANKOVIC

Chance Fame Good Make Rock Think
I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
AL YANKOVIC

Discover Entirely Gave Make Meat Needless Soon Up
I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
AL YANKOVIC

Animal Bend Paper Shape Work
I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Life Long Onstage Pick Possible Realize Rest Song Studio Time Work
That’s a big part of my life – doing things that I’m not prepared to do.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Comfort Depth Life Part Prepare Try
My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
AL YANKOVIC

Although Dough Mean Some Velvet World Worth
I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world – even shows that haven’t been on the air for a very long time, that’s going to be harder to pull off.
AL YANKOVIC

Animate Cartoon Decide History Long Show Time Voice Want Worlds
The music has always been my bread and butter, and I’ve focused more of my attention on that.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Attention Bread Butter Focus Music
Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

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