I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
AISHA TYLERSuccessful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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I really do know football.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
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I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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