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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.

Aisha Tyler

Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLER

Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
I really do know football.
AISHA TYLER

Do Football Know Really
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
AISHA TYLER

Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought
When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
AISHA TYLER

Behind Fire Look Old Slow Sown Stone Want
I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
AISHA TYLER

Absolutely Baby Dynasty Fan Giant Long Time
“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
AISHA TYLER

Anyone Failure Fall Going Many Powered Success
I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
AISHA TYLER

Dad Guy Kind Like Single Stuff Thinking
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER

Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
AISHA TYLER

Always Archer Audience Comedy Podcast Really Tried Writing
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
AISHA TYLER

Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
AISHA TYLER

Define Doing Example Failure Keep People Scare Show Fall Successful Want
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
AISHA TYLER

Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
AISHA TYLER

Afraid Couple Day Everyone Fault Kill Other People Point Want
I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
AISHA TYLER

Back Country Some Toronto Wait Waiting

When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.

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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.

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