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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.

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So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I really do know football.
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After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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You know, it’s about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying .
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So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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