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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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Belief Career Feminism Freedom Personal Want
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way
Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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Equalizer Inspirational Karaoke
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
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Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way
I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Ass Boss My Own Total
You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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Fail Failure Fun Hard Learn Need Winning
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pander So Try Want
Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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Carnival Marriage Ride
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought
I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
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Dad Guy Kind Like Single Stuff Thinking
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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Being Best Find Funny Going People Possibly Version
I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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Diversity Fill Idea Important Opportunity Quita Satisfy Some Television Thinking Trying
I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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Always Geek Nerd Real Such
My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
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Cloth Kids Parent School Stick Vegetarian
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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Black Crack Doe Droop
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted
One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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