I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
AISHA TYLERI am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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I like grown up comedy.
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A belief in feminism is a belief in personal freedom.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
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I really do know football.
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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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