I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
AISHA TYLERI think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
AISHA TYLER