Karaoke is the great equalizer.
AISHA TYLERI think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
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I started out being a stand up and writing my own material. That took me to Talk Soup, where I was writing and performing for TV.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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TV always wants more people to be watching.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
AISHA TYLER






