If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLAWhen Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
ADAM CAROLLA