I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLAAnd the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLA