You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLAAnd the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
ADAM CAROLLA -
There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA