Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
ADAM CAROLLA