I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
ADAM CAROLLA