If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA