We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLAThat’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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