I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLAThat’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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