There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLAI am not a good cue card reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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