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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.

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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA

Admit Bringing Courage God Keep People Suppress
There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLA

Better Certain Expert Man Thing Unique Women
The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Compelling Good Host Podcast
I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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Guy Need Personality Pople Represent Want
I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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Crazy Funny House Lonely Ratio Roof Someone Talk
I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA

Comedian Comedy Feeling Irony Joke Laugh Life Politician
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA

Air Conservative Country People Place Stories Story Use
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Country Differences Drunk Funny Guess Hard Work Humor Worked
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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Daughter Issue Love Mother Much Women
If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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Always Boxed Boxing Fight Ring Taught Won
You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Anything Eating Funny Humor Microwave Six Take
My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Asian Colege Fudge Funny Growing Up Humor People Thirteen
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Biggest Coffee Soccer Soft Thinking Whatever World

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