If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAWe’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA






