You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLAWe’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA






