I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLAThe believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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