When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLAMy motto is “more mystery, less history”.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA