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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.

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Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself

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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I get depressed at airports.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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